Life en Rose or How I Delude Myself (unedited bc im lazy)

 So. I've confirmed that I can't actually follow my self-imposed routines. I told myself I'd write everyday on my last week in the Philippines before going to Spain, and look. I got to day 2 at least? Well anyway, I'm in Spain now, hurrah!

Ah, Spain. Beautiful, picturesque Spain. 

Before everything else, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Maybe I'll post a separate blog for my resolutions, maybe I'll just forget. lol.

When I first arrived I was scared. Unlike all of my friends, I lived with my parents all through uni. I never got to experience feeling like a fish out of water, or even being separated from them and having to fend for myself. The first few weeks in Spain felt like a trial by fire. I had to learn how to be by myself, to plan my activities, and to budget. The first two weeks of my stay in Spain was spent with a family friend, and it was nice, albeit very uncomfortable. Don't tell them I said this but they really, truly made me feel unwelcome. 

I couldn't feel settled because the way my brain works is very peculiar. I need to have my feet planted in the ground before I feel like I belong. And there began my first dilemma: before leaving I had thought that I would be living in that family's house for free. Truthfully, I felt like they were pressured into agreeing. One night I was telling them about a place one of the other language assistants was offering. They suddenly asked if that was the price I wanted offered to me. Huh? I thought this was free!!! But honestly, that was just the incident that solidified my desire to move away. All throughout my stay in that house I was constantly being told that I would hate it here and that the people were vicious and too serious. Being told that I had to pay was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Later on when I had found a place to move to and was in the process of moving they told me that they had planned to ask me to be their runner in exchange for free boarding. Huh? What exactly is it?! 250/month or be a runner?? So I had to get out of there. Their kid was very nice though, and I think she wanted to have someone to talk to. 

Of course, I can't not talk about why I'm actually here. I teach at a charming school close to where I live, and I'm constantly in awe of the inclusivity that they are teaching their kids. Maybe it's because Asian schools are for the most part homogenous, and so we neglect to think very much of others, but the way the school integrates the needs of ALL children is very endearing to me. Never before have I seen a school that had a physical therapist onboard. Or a pedagogy expert that sat with kids who needed a bit more help in understanding lessons. Or tecnicos that escorted kids who need help navigating the school. It makes me wonder how great the world (or even just the Philippines would be fine) would be if all public schools put this much care in all their students.

There's that, but there's also all the documents I had to present just so I can stay here long. As of this moment I am still waiting on my very last document, my TIE. It was a long and arduous (and anxiety-inducing) journey to get here and I am excited to be done with it. I almost feel like an alien without it. And again, it's the last toe that needs to be planted before I can feel like I belong. 

Ok honestly this was a very long preface to what I ACTUALLY want to mention which is: I've started reading again! Not that I ever stopped, mind you, but as sad as it is to say, mentioning the title of a Chinese webnovel won't really count in everyone else's mind as "reading". Sometimes they don't even appear on book social media which is a damn shame! 

But anyway! I currently have books on my TBR pile, and I have some books I already finished. I've reviewed them on Storygraph (I also have a goodreads but it's amazon so...), but I want to try writing more in-depth reviews on the books that I've read! I'm gonna start by writing reviews on 3 books that I've recently finished: Before the Coffee Gets Cold, The Curious Case of the Dog in the Night-Time, and Normal People. Spoilers— I only liked one of them.

But I guess I should reveal how I got back into reading "more acceptable" literature. Well the simple answer is I got sick and bored. I got a cold one lonely and stressful week in December, and let me tell you, these are the days when getting sick is a time to legitimately worry. I don't think I have to expand on why.

Anyway, I got sick, I got bored, and what do bored and sick people do? They go on Youtube. While watching a multitude of different videos (mostly about genshin), I stumbled upon Jack Edwards. He is a "booktuber", or should I say, The Booktuber. And from there I just spiraled. I started to make a list of books to read and buy, and now. Now. I'm 60 euros poorer. And about to be poorer still. Money well spent I should say.